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  Discussion on Barn Sitting - how much do I pay?
Author Message
Member:
julieh

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 1:22 pm:

We are going out of town tomorrow for three days. Normally, when we have to be away, our only boarder keeps the barn for us in exchange for board. She is unable to help out this weekend and I have a very experienced young lady helping us out. We live in NC, there are 9 horses to take care of. She will feed and turn out in the morning, clean stalls and put them back in their stalls and feed at night. This will consist of Thursday night, all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday. What should I pay her?
Member:
ajudson1

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 1:48 pm:

My situation isn't exactly like yours, I have someone stay right at our house. She has free rein of the whole house, rides one of our horses, and her & her daughter bring of their horses here during the time we are gone. We encourage them to help themselves to any groceries, and make themselves at home, plus we pay them $10.00 a day as my friend has to drive farther to work. We stock up the fridge and pantry, and make sure there is grain for the horse too. This is during the summer so not too much to do; fill the tank, open and close off pastures.

I would think you'd need to consider hours put in per day, how far the person travels, and then pay per hour, plus maybe a little extra? I'd be generous with the "extra" to insure the girl helps again if needed.
Member:
hwood

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:01 pm:

Julie,
I would say at least 30 dollars a day and maybe as much as 50. I don't know what folks in your area pay. If the girl also has a job, then she is really doing double duty. You don't want to break the bank, but I guess I ask myself, "How much money would make it worthwhile for me to care for horses for someone I don't know?" As friends, we often do favors for one another, but if this is solely a business proposition, then I would be generous as Angie states. If she were staying in my home, eating food from the larder and using the electric and water and heat, I would still offer at least 25 dollars per day for that many horses and stalls.
Member:
mrose

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:05 pm:

We pay by the hour currently and have a college student who helps us. She cleans stalls, turns horses out, brings them in, feeds and makes sure the water tanks are full. She also grooms when she has time, washes out the feed buckets, and sometimes lounges a couple of the horses. I pay her $8.50/hr, and also give her overtime on holidays if she works, and give her a nice Christmas present, etc. She has been working for us during the school year for 2 yrs. If she rides to exercise a horse, I pay her $10/hour, except when we take horses out for a trail ride, then it's "fun" with no pay. She seems happy with this. We are in an area, though, where the pay scale is low, esp. for students.
Member:
dres

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:21 pm:

Barn sitters.. today i am interviewing one at 2.. we are going to Cancun and the barn sitter i used in the past has moved..
I would only consider someone that KNOWS horses.. ok that being said.. If a person is staying at my house i feel i owe them $$ for disrupting there life style and staying in my house.. that is worth an extra $25.00 a night.. Depending on how many horses / stalls / turn outs / feedings/ supplements/ blanketing that all adds up to time and a experianced handler.. so again you get what you pay for...

Our vacations end up costing a pretty penny ,and that is not the beer i drink.. !~

On the first day God created horses, on the second day he painted them with spots..
Member:
julieh

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:22 pm:

That helps me out a lot! My thought was $50 a day, including Thursday when she only has to do the night part. My main concern was travel, she lives about 30 minutes from our barn and she will have to come twice a day. That is two hours travel time. I am thinking I will pay her $200 for the weekend. I sure hope that is fair enough.
Member:
julieh

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:27 pm:

That's funny you should say that Ann! We are only going to be gone for three days and it is taking three people to care for our animals. One for the barn, we are taking our lab to a doggie day care and our son is keeping our three little dogs! Now I know why we don't get out very often. It is just too much trouble! By the way, we are going to the Extreme Mustang Makeover in Ft. Worth, Texas. Anyone else going? There is a natural horsemanship trainer in our area who was picked as one of the trainers. I am excited about seeing all these trainers and the horses and excited about going to Texas too - I have never been before!
Member:
hwood

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:35 pm:

Who's the trainer from NC, Julie?
I think that $200 is fair and that she will probably do it again for that price if you ask her.
Have fun!
Member:
julieh

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:39 pm:

There are actually two trainers from NC, but Matt Gable is the one we have seen before and is close to our area. I can't remember the name of the other trainer but I had not heard of him before.
Member:
dres

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:42 pm:

i agree, that sounds fair.. and the ''do again'' is very valuable.. !~ This gal that i am interviewing only lives a few acres over .. so the travel time will be nothing, she could ride a bike.. and she won't be staying here so that saves me $25 a night.. .. I will only have three horses here, i am taking the rehab horse to a rehab barn.. would NEVER ask someone to hand walk her 60-70 mins a day.. the other three will be out in pasture the whole time.. so she won't have to handle them at all or clean ..feed twice a day , and feed my three dogs as well,,, so i figure $30. a day.. We will be gone 10 days...
What do you all think?

On the first day God created horses, on the second day he painted them with spots.
Member:
ajudson1

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:49 pm:

Sounds fair Julie, I'd do it for that. I should add, about 10-12 years ago we were paying $30.00 a day for 4-5 horses over the Thanksgiving weekend. The neighbor was about 2 miles away and had to come in the house to care for our birds, and a cat. Put hay out twice a day, no graining. The friend I have helping nowadays is living with her parents, so it's like a vacation for her to be alone in a house!
Member:
hwood

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:50 pm:

Jeesh! Talk about "easy money." Hey, Ann . . . can I come work for you?
Member:
julieh

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 2:51 pm:

Ann, I think $30 a day seems very fair. It is very valuable to have someone looking after your horses that is knowledgeable in case something happens. My son cleans stalls every day for us, but to ask him to actually bring them in and out and be responsible if something happens, I would never do. He isn't comfortable enough around them and would have no idea what to do if something happened to one of them.
Member:
tweeter

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 4:46 pm:

I pay a "professional" horse sitter $60.00 per day that includes 2 trips morning and evening, feed turn in/out and clean stalls, hay, water dump manure spreader etc. She also takes care of 6 hens and the border collie. Finding someone who is good and trustworthy is hard. When we go on vacation for a week the horse care is one of our major expenses!
Member:
karent

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 4:49 pm:

4 years ago when I was living in California. My husband and I went away for 1 week. Our neighbors were kind enough to feed, and turn out the horses, but we didn't feel comfortable asking them to clean stalls, as well. We hired a professional stall cleaner that cleaned stalls once per day. It cost us $80.00 per day for stall cleaning alone.

I'm sure the amount of money you pay will have some bearing on the state you live in. I'm sure I could find someone in NM, if need be, for $6-8 dollars per hour. However, in California I doubt you would be able to find someone reliable for that kind of money.

Julie,

Why don't you ask this person what amount sounds fair to them and go from there.
Member:
zarr

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 6:01 pm:

Julie, hope all works out finding your critter siter, HOWEVER I saw where you are going WOW! Please please take lots of notes I know it is on RFD TV but there will be lots of yaking and little of the horses! Watch for # 61! Thank you from Cindy, who is now very green with envy!
Member:
dres

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 6:22 pm:

Kathy, how many horses??

Well my interview went well.. i hired her.. she will come twice a day,, spend a little bit of time with the dogs, feed the horses and watch em a bit, see if they are behaving normally. She has a 1/4 horse of her own so knows horses..

Now we can go to Cancun and i will feel more comfortable about it.. Now to look up that gal that lives across the way from Cancun..

On the first day God created horses, on the second day he painted them with spots..
Member:
quatro

Posted on Wednesday, Sep 19, 2007 - 10:01 pm:

We pay our gal $25.00 a day + $8.00 hour for doing doggie chores at the kennel. She stays at the house, we feed her and make sure she has lots of movies. She lives with her folks so it is like a vacation when she comes here.
Other people get paid vacations, we have to pay for our vacations. We are going this weekend to. YEAH!
suz
Member:
ellab

Posted on Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 - 7:40 am:

Full days I pay 30 dollars (I have 4 horses) and half days 20 dollars. So for example if I am having morning and evening chores done for one day and then just morning chores being done the next day because I would be home in time to put the horses in then it would be 30 for the first day and 20 for the next. $50 for the day and a half.

I hire an experienced teenager (17 yrs). She is more flexible than an adult could be, enjoys getting out on her own and can really use the money.

I would think with 9 horses it would be a bit more.

EllaB
Member:
julieh

Posted on Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 - 8:15 am:

Thanks to everyone for your comments. She came to the barn last night to go over what needed to be done. She seemed happy with $200. That covers 3 1/2 days. I sure hope that is enough! We're off to Ft. Worth this afternoon and I can't wait! Cindy, I will watch for #61...
Member:
jerre

Posted on Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 - 11:32 am:

Here's the price list for a reliable experienced horsesitter in W. WA. Depending on your setup, looks like up to $60/day.

Feed, supplement, water, blanket
First horse $8 per visit
Second horse $2 per visit
Third horse, etc. $1 per visit

Turn-out to adjacent paddock/field; return to stalls at night No charge

Lead horse to turn-out area; return to stall at night $ 1.00 per horse per day

Stall cleaning with shavings bedding removal and change $ 2.00 per stall

Stall cleaning with minimal pellet bedding removal and change $ 1.00 per stall

Stalls picked out as needed (horses go in and out as they please) $ .50 per stall

She'll take care of up to 2 housepets for free if she's there for the horses, and then adds charges for more.

Jerre
Member:
tweeter

Posted on Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 - 12:20 pm:

Ann you had asked how many horses...5 horses and 1 mini donkey. I'm not bragging but my horses are sooooo easy to take care of. They all poop in the corner..one guy is so good at it if he has 3 or more poops I swear the pitch fork is going to break picking it up. hehehe
I have 3 different "horse sitter" people just in case I need someone in an emergency and my first choice is not available. The first choice is also the most expensive @$60. per day the other two are $48. and $50.
I tried the boarder in exchange for help routine...the boarder was the biggest pain in the butt (the horse) cribber and bully in the pasture and the owner was not available whenever I asker her to take care of the horses. That was 4 times in 8 months...I had to hire someone to take care of the horses anyway including hers!! After the 4th time she was asked to leave and guess what...she got mad at me. I have decided that if it costs $100. a day its worth it. The horse sitter starts when we leave and is done when we get home.
Member:
muffi

Posted on Thursday, Sep 20, 2007 - 2:34 pm:

I pay $60 a day for a live in at our house - YEs Karen she is in Santa Fe if you want her number let me know
She walks the dog, feeds the cats & cleans the litter box
but most of all she knows horses. In the Winter she blankets etc. I make feed bags for the pellets and supplements then she keeps the stalls and arena clean and makes sure they are good. She does have a day job 30 minutes in to town from here but sleeps the nite. She insists on bringing her own food. and the House is Spotless when I come home. with nice little notes on the table about what happened while we were gone. I feel safe and confident when I am away that the horses are well cared for by someone that would know what a horse rolling on the ground meant
Member:
julieh

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 1:38 pm:

I wanted to thank you all for helping me out with the barn sitting question. We settled on paying $50 per day with an extra $50 for her travel expense. I am sad to say that was way more than she deserved! We returned home last night to horses in dirty stalls, really dirty, wet stalls! This is heartbreaking for us because her parents are dear friends of ours and she is a very experienced qualified horse person. I am shocked to see what kind of job she did for us. We have six horses on supplements and one horse who is anemic and on special feed and red cell in her feed and she didn't even do any of that! I give my horses smartpak and I know one of my horses only had three packs left when we left town and when we returned, he still had three packs. We have a mare and foal that were to be lead to the pasture every morning and brought in the paddock at night. She left them in the paddock the entire three days. Oh well, no sense in going into all that, just wanted to emphasize how important references are! On a happier note, the Extreme Mustang Makeover was absolutely awesome! I had no idea it was going to be anything like that. The crowd was huge, just as many people standing in the coliseum as sitting. The 13 finalists all did a 4 minute presentation with their horse and I was amazed at how far each had come. There was roping, cutting, flag carrying, mounted shooting and all the mustangs were just as quiet and content as if they had been trained their whole life. The winner was Guy Woods from Texas. I hope when it comes out on video or when it airs, all of you will be able to see it. Hopefully, this will become an annual event. If so, I plan to attend every year!
Member:
ajudson1

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 4:16 pm:

Did you pay her in advance? Was everything cleary spelled out on a chart of some kind? I find that very few (sad to say) younger people are responsible these days. I tend to leave lists EVERYWHERE when I leave; probably overkill, but at least I can say "see, right here it says to do such and such...and call this person, or that person if such and such happens"...

Too bad; it makes it tough to leave and enjoy yourself if you are worried about your babies at home.

Glad you enjoyed the Extreme Mustang Makeover anyhow, and other than dirty stalls, I hope there wasn't anything seriously neglected that caused any long term health affects.
Member:
dres

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 4:56 pm:

We had a similar experiance with a ''recommended'' teenage barn sitter two years ago.. She rides at a barn my trainer is at and she said she would be good.. HA! We came home early on Sunday 1ish.. and she and her boyfriend were asleep in MY BED.. I went right out to the horses.. they had absolutely NO water //DRY it was over 100 degrees that weekend.. I sent her and boyfriend packing.. Took a look around the house and they had USED MY JET TUB in my beDrOom!
I had 1/2 a mind to tell the girls mother.. but the mother never asked me about it so i did not volunteer the info..
Dang I hope this gal i just hired for out trip in Nov is not like that..

On the first day God created horses, on the second day he painted them with spots.
Member:
hwood

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 5:02 pm:

Julie, I meant to reply to this earlier, but got sidetacked. Angie's post in my INBOX reminded me about it.

Please, do the best and most loving thing for yourselves and for this irresponsible girl and LET HER KNOW of your disappointment in her lack of professionalism. The longer you wait to tell her, the worse it will be, and she will lose the benefit of a kind and valuable learning experience: That we don't get rewarded for poor behavior.

My suggestion is to invite her to your home tonight or ASAP and explain to her why you don't want to pay her what you agreed upon. Take her through the instructions you left for her one by one. Though she won't want to hear that she has "failed," she NEEDS to hear it, and she needs to hear it from someone who cares about her.

I really hope you haven't paid her yet. It will be so much easier for you if you haven't handed over the money for a job that was not done.

I can't stress to you how important it is for this young woman of your good friend to learn from you NOW that she can't get away with shoddy work. Much better for her to learn from you than to learn from an uncaring employer, although it may be that she will have to learn it that way, too.

I would also express to her my disappointment in finding: (and make a list) dirty stalls,
leftover supplements
etc.

If you HAVE paid her, the best thing you can do is to make contact with her and in a kind way, let her know that something has really been bothering you, and then tell her, honestly and matter-of-factly. You may want to tell her mother that you are going to have such a conversation with her . . . or you may NOT want to tell her. It depends on how open your relationship is with her parents.

I would definitely mention to the girl that either:
We would like to have you back to care for our horses, but we will want to see that the work is done to our requirements before you get paid,
OR
We don't feel that we can ask you to care for our horses the next time we leave because we feel that you risked their welfare by not following our instruction.

Courage to you, Julie. Without honest feedback, the girl is heading down the wrong path.
Member:
julieh

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 5:06 pm:

Oh, everything was completely spelled out for her, twice! She came out the night before we left, I paid her in advance (second mistake) and I went through the whole thing, AND I had a two page list of each horse, where they are pastured, how much grain, what supplements, etc. I felt so bad about it, I was going around to the stalls apologizing to the horses for my stupidity! As we were leaving, my husband said it is over and nobody is hurt, so let's learn from it and move on. I guess he is right!
Member:
julieh

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 5:11 pm:

Thanks for the advice Holly. I know you are right and under normal circumstances, I would do that, but if you knew her mother, you would understand why I can't. Even though her parents are friends, if I talked to her or her mother, they would probably no longer be friends. I went through this same conversation with my mother last night and she agrees with you, that I should talk to her and tell her how I feel. I don't know, maybe I will think about it and risk losing the friendship. Maybe that isn't a friendship if I lose it over this!
Member:
leilani

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 5:27 pm:

Julie,

I agree with your husband, but... This is exactly why I don't go anywhere. Too bad some people aren't as good as their word. Leilani
Member:
hwood

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 6:08 pm:

Tough love is tough . . . and it is good for her mom to know the truth, too . . .
Friendship isn't friendship without the freedom to be honest in love.
Member:
srobert

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 6:30 pm:

Difficult people are rewarded for being difficult. I teach this over and over in my counseling courses. If the mother would "deprive" you of her friendship over this, then she is not worthy of YOUR friendship. I completely agree with Holly. As hard as it is, you really need to let her (the daughter) know you were disappointed in her performance. Otherwise, she is rewarded for NOT doing the appropriate thing. And the cycle continues.

I know its tough, but she needs to hear it. I don't know the family, obviously, but if you lose a friendship over this, perhaps its for the better. Do you really need a friend who you have to tiptoe around to keep from offending her? difficult?
Member:
erika

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 6:35 pm:

I vote for calling the little rat out, too. In a nice way though. Too bad you didn't call her back immediately to show her what you came home to.
Holly's right, if her parents haven't taught her to be conscientious, perhaps another caring adult can. She may never have been expected to do anything completely and doesn't even realize she let you down.
I can't imagine her parents being miffed about telling her that she didn't do as she agreed. I wouldn't ask for the money back. It is water under the bridge. They would just think you are being cheap! Do it on principle. But rise above and make it a lesson for the poor slob!
Member:
zarr

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 7:09 pm:

Julie, the only time I have left was 6 years ago and it was the dog that took the burnt of the trouble. He was terrified to come back into his own house after our return that he shook for hours after we got back.The next morning heads rolled !

Mustang makeover; by chance do you remember how #61 did and did Kitty and Ranger fair well?. Don't want to wait for RFD TV to know, sorry! Cindy
Member:
shirl

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 7:26 pm:

Julie,
It's a terrible situation you are in but I have to agree with Holly and the others that she and her mother need to know. If she continues to care for animals in the absence of owners, one day something tragic will happen and an animal will be lost.
I board but I seldom leave town and when I did last year for the first time in 7 years, I designated one person to make certain everything was done the way I do it, gave her $50 even though I'd watched her horse a few times also. She is a responsible adult, so I worried not, though had my youngest son out to show him also - just in case - so felt Sedona was in good hands and preparations were in order. Well, this is humerous now, but --- When I left on a Sat.it was raining non-stop, but thought nothing of it. I called on Sunday to check in and my son's words were: "Well, we prepared for everything but a flood". I screamed, "A FLOOD" Seems the Rillito River over-flowed it's banks due to mistakes made by the Park's Dept. and several horses, including Sedona, needed to be moved!! The gal in charge of her got a trailer and she was moved with a buddy, to a facility not far away. I was thankful I'd left this lady in charge as the owner of the barn never did move her horses. Sedona was back home by the time I returned.
Best to you in whatever you decide.

Shirl
Member:
jojo15

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 8:41 pm:

Sad post. And sadly i've been thru this before. Not remembering so much with my horses, but dogs. i came home to dried urine stains on the floor. diareha dried in the tile grout, etc.. you know when urine sits for awhile it crystalizes? oh my, just awful. And this was a professional dog sitting service. They just made me soo mad.

From this lesson onward... I've always taken a picture of how i left it. I post it on the fridge. And i expect it to look like that when i return. end of story. If it is NOT than don't pay them. I never leave just one person in charge of 20 animals. impossible. (i know we can do it why can't they?) but, in all fairness i will have other people checking in on them. Never telling the Paid service that i have backup. I have a neighbor willing to just wander over and check the water. etc. I call everynight. It's never truly a vacation. since you're always worrying over it...

i'm truly thinking about starting this service here in my area. I already got the business license and name etc. Because why is it so darn hard to find trustworthy individuals that love animals... They are out there, just so darn hard to find.

As for telling her. or her mother... well that is a huge thing. Granted you might lose the friendship. BUt i bet this won't sit lightly on you for a long long time. It will bother you and ultimately that's going to ruin the friendship in other ways... So unless this is a business type of friendship that would hurt you in other ways, then i would say something. BUt do not expect that it will change anything. The only thing it will do is make you feel a bit better.
Member:
warwick

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 9:19 pm:

Getting into this post rather late - par for the course lately it seems. Took me ages to find a reliable horse/farm/cat sitter. I started by using a "professional" horse sitting service but was totally unsatisfied with the job they did. Gave them the benefit of the doubt the first time but when like you, Julie, I returned home to dirty stalls, I called them on the carpet and never used them again. Finally found a fantastic woman who never advertised but had no end of clients due to word of mouth. She was fabulous and would even mow the lawn. Lived in the house, looked after the horses (including young stock), 2 cats and the yard all for $50 a day - and she even brought her own food! What a find she was.

On the other hand, a very close friend once asked if I would hire her teenaged daughter to clean stalls over the summer. Big mistake - she was totally lazy and only interested in getting paid at the end of the week. After speaking to her (nicely) several times about her work quality, I had no alternative but to let her go. I was totally upfront with my friend and she agreed wholeheartedly that it was the only way her daughter would acquire a work ethic. At the time I felt rather crummy but the message got through and she did much better at her next job.

As uncomfortable as it might be, you'll be doing her a favor, Julie.

Take care,
Sue
Member:
ekaufman

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 9:41 pm:

Very frustrating and disappointing for you!

I travel a lot for work, and good help is hard to find. Several times I've paid someone for an extra feeding/cleaning BEFORE I had to leave, so I could walk through with her and make sure we agreed on what it actually meant to pick up poop or throw 5 flakes of hay into a feeder.

I agree that it's important to give feedback, good or bad. There are a lot of ways to tell someone that you are disappointed and the work didn't meet your standards, and it is possible to do that without calling the person a lazy, criminal, horse-hating slob, even if that's how you feel. Some people are ding-dongs and some have never seen a clean stall. Easy enough to say-- if you plan on doing this again for anyone else, you must pay attention to the following, or people (including me) will not call you back.

In the end, you probably won't call her again. But I wouldn't assume that it has to get ugly, unless she or her mother makes it that way.
Member:
julieh

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 9:43 pm:

Thank you all for all the advice. I know I should say something and I probably will. I am still so mad and my husband is STILL at the barn stripping stalls and putting new sawdust in all the stalls. He has been there all afternoon! My next plan, after telling them how I feel, is finding a second back up to our normal barn sitter. I know now you need to have choices. We attend a lot of clinics and expos and we enjoy that. Not being able to do that is hard, especially for my husband, since he isn't a rider, he is only the "barn hand". He is so good to do anything I want as far as horses are concerned. He says the cleaning is his and the riding is mine, how can I deprive him of a weekend off once in awhile??? I will let you know how I handle this situation. This is hard for me since I am such a passive person. I hate conflict and anything to do with conflict. I try to keep peace, even if I know it is the wrong thing.

Mustang Makeover: Cindy, Kitty and Ranger came in second! They were absolutely awesome! I actually thought they would have come in first place. In fact, I would have bet anything they would have won! I don't know what all the updates meant, but #61 was marked through with the letters (ser). I am not sure what that meant, but I looked for that number so I could update you when I returned. Another trainer, named Zane Davis, was great. He and his wife were in the top 13. He came in 3rd place and his wife was somewhere in the top 10, I can't remember exactly where.
Member:
ekaufman

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 9:48 pm:

So Julie, one idea to think about is to tell her what you saw instead of how you feel. For example-- I see that you were not able to clean the stalls or feed the supplements as I asked. Were you confused by my instructions? And then you wait until the person answers-- that is the learning moment for her.

People who do what she does are not concerned with how you feel, and are likely used to making it a weapon (sounds like her mom does this). But it may be useful for her to get a calm retelling of what she left behind her.
Member:
hpyhaulr

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 10:05 pm:

Julie, If you don't follow Holly's path, you will not only be enabling this girl, but may wind up on her list of references and THEN what will you do????? Silence equals consent. I would wait until I calmed down, (which would take a LONG time for me)but make a list of all your complaints now. Questions: as I left with 3 packets of meds, and instructions on how to dose, how is it that all 3 were still here? Make her answer or stumble in the process. These are your babies,a nd it seems like you are so very conscientious, noone ever does it exactly like you, but her train left the tracks when you left the driveway!. Bet the "kids" were REALLY happy to see you and your husband!!!!
Member:
julieh

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 10:35 pm:

One more little tidbit that REALLY concerns me is-my husband got home around 9:30. He said he really had a hard time getting a couple of the horses in tonight. They were "on edge" and pacing the fence, running in circles and very nervous. Our horses are NOT edgy. They are very content, quiet horses, living the life of luxury, so to speak. The fact that our "senior horses" were on edge makes me worry. He brought two in and went to put the two out that stay out all night, they would not leave their stalls! They are always anxious to go out but didn't want to go out tonight. Just makes me wonder.....
Member:
hwood

Posted on Monday, Sep 24, 2007 - 11:16 pm:

Julie, do you have wilderness and wild animals around your farm? Often, the presence of a bear or moose will set horses off like you describe.
Member:
julieh

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 5:43 am:

You are probably right Holly. It was probably just some sort of animal in the pasture. With everything that happened over the weekend, my imagination was getting the best of me! Although we don't have bears or moose, etc, it could have been a fox or something! Thanks for all the advice everyone. I will probably have a conversation today. Hope everyone has a great day!
Member:
ajudson1

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 7:47 am:

I totally agree with everyone's advice to talk to this girl. You can tell her how disappointed you feel, and go over everything sticking to the facts. I guess ending with "I am really disappointed...." Facts, then feelings.

If she tells her mom, and her mom reacts in a bad way, it is really out of your hands. You are treating the girl like a young adult, (although she didn't act like one)and it is how any employer would treat her. (I hope) It's more of a disservice to not tell her.

We have our 2 adult kids who have many problems. So as parents we've been on the side of the fence this girls mother is. Our kids were hired, as teens, to care for dogs and do general yard work for a neighbor lady. When she arrived home, she came to our house and questioned our kids about things with us out of the conversation at first, followed by us being part of it. WE REALLY appreciated her handling it that way, and she handled their "discipline" which we also appreciated. We reinforced what she told them, followed with stern reminders that they were darn lucky she didn't press charges.

Looking back, and how our older 2 turned out, I wish she would have done more; it seems that kids get off too easy and just don't learn. We need to speak up for shoddy service!

So...that's from where I stand.

My husband is more like the "pay her and forget it" type of guy. I see it as $$$$'s flying out the window, aggravation in the barn, horses not cared for.

BTW, you could hire my 19 or 13 year old, and I bet you'd find the barn in better condition than you left it, except my son has no "horse sense" but if it's spelled out, he does great! My daughter might manage to add to your cat population though, lol!

Good luck with it all.
Member:
julieh

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 8:19 am:

Hindsight is 20/20, isn't that what they say? Our son cleans stalls every day, that is his after school job (he is in college). Angie, when you said your son has no "horse sense", that is the reason we didn't have him take care of the horses over the weekend. He offered to, but my first thought was, what if something happens, he won't have a clue what to do, plus, he doesn't know what colic is and wouldn't know it if it smacked him in the face. He is comfortable with most of them, leading them in and out, but not comfortable enough to be left with them for several days. After this weekend though, he told me he wanted to take care of them next time. Still not comfortable with that though.......
Member:
ellab

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 2:38 pm:

I had a situation like this once. It was really cold out (New England winter) and when I got back I found manure encrusted stalls and no water in the (plugged in electric) tubs. Fire hazard time!

She left me a note telling me that her mother did not want her to be out in the cold so she had not done the stalls.

I planned to tell her mom but before I got the chance I saw them at a basketball game and her mother asked me how it went. I had to answer honestly. When her mother found out that she had written the excuse that she had not done it because her mother did not want her to, her mother dragged her right out of the gym. It was not pretty.

I had not yet paid but chose to pay anyway. I didn't want someone to say that I just said things to avoid paying. I insisted on paying (after all my horses were o.k.) and never called her again.

EllaB :-(
Member:
mysi

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 3:34 pm:

WOW! after reading all of these stories and I will soon be having my horses at home, I don't think I will ever leave my horses!!! I'm a bit anal with my horses to begin with and no one would live up to my standards regardless, but those are all of my fears confirmed!

Teenagers are usually the worst, we have several dear girls that do stalls and misc. work at our farm on the weekends and I love them, but I would NEVER let them care for my horses if I was not there to supervise.
Member:
ajudson1

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 4:41 pm:

Julie,

Whenever my husband and I dare to leave for a few days, my wonderful son always mananges to get a rise out of me. I'll call home, a few times daily, and ask how the horses are, the dog, the cats, and how he is too, if I remember, LOL!!!

He'll say things like "we have horses?" "Oh, are there 4 horses, I thought we only had 3!". Or, "Was I suppose to give them hay twice a day, and WATER TOO?"

I never ask him to grain, and have lots of horse people on stand by if there's anything wrong. Of course being horses don't make "engine" sounds, I've always figured if one did die, he'd never notice unless he fell over the body!!!

And I think it must be a male thing, because both my husband and son can walk by the horses, hear them call out, or hear them banging an empty tank, and it never dawns on them to check and see what the problem is. REALLY ANNOYING if I am running late, or not feeling well!

So, ya, I know what you mean there. I just try not to think about if something would happen, like an injury, or colic...
Member:
erika

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 4:59 pm:

Good point Angie! It pays to keep it simple. Don't bother with grain or supplements unless they would cause a medical problem if skipped. Just hay and water--they'll survive. Less chance of colic without the grain, too.

If keeping stalls clean is a priority, it is best to say "pick out twice a day" or with whatever frequency you like. I have seen drastic levels of acceptability in the cleaning department!

Sometimes people just have different standards of cleanliness.

Have my own horror stories of teenagers on animal watch, as do we all!
Member:
tweeter

Posted on Tuesday, Sep 25, 2007 - 5:30 pm:

When you have your horses at your own farm you need to be prepared for any event that might come up. It is not realistic to think that you can always be available and everyone needs a break now and then. I had a horse sitter who stole bagged shavings from us every time she took care of the horses however I never knew it until we came home early one time and she was heading out the drive with 10 bags in the back of her truck. I always thought she was just a lazy cleaner and took too much shavings while she cleaned. I now have the 3 horse sitters to pick from so that if I get sick or hurt or need to go somewhere in a emergency I am prepared. I also only pay 1/2 in advance and the balance when I get home. I also have surprised each one of the care takers coming home early without advising so I can see how things are being done. Once you find the right helpers you will be able to go away and relax and not worry. Keep in mind the time to find barn sitters is not when you need them....start searching and checking references way before you need them.
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