|
|
Discussion on Euthanasia and "the truck" question
|
| Author |
Message |
Member:
brandi
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 2:48 am:
Hi all,
I have the heartbreaking task ahead of me this week for my 30-yo little man, Rocki, who was my first horse, and who has been with me for over 22 years. He's also the first horse I will have ever lost (and I have 6 right now).
I don't feel comfortable spending the money for cremation so he can sit in a box, weighted with my intent to do something special with the ashes (like a few of my cats and a dog of the past 20 years are still doing).
Burial is not an option for me, my little ranch is in a suburb in the city limits in a city in California - about 3 layers of no burial laws, even for a dog). I feel like rendering (or as I choose to see it - recycling) is okay for me. I can wrap my arms around him "giving back" in some way. I know not everyone feels that way, and I respect that.
We are putting him to sleep here at home, a very important thing for me. What I'm trying to come to terms with is the process of him getting picked up and put in the truck. I was told they use a winch, but I really don't understand how they will get him in there. I've seen the trucks before, they just look like large, cow-painted dump trucks. I feel like I can handle this if I can just be prepared. Does anyone have experience with what I've described - given what few details I have? I'm using Sacramento Rendering, for those of you who might live in my area.
Thanks so much.
|
New Member:
ayla7
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 6:01 am:
I think being with him for his journey is all that will really matter. When the truck comes, maybe go into the house & look @ pictures of him. Sounds like he lived the life every horse would want.....all concerns now should be for you. The 'truck' is not a memorial & not likely to leave the last memories of your pony as you could. The humane euthanasia is your closure. This pony has been well-loved & cared for...lucky guy & bet in some sense, he knows this.}
|
Member:
canter
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 7:23 am:
Brandi, I am so sorry you are losing your dear friend. The decision about what to do with the remains is a deeply personal one and there is no right or wrong answer for everyone. I think that to get the answer you need, you should probably call the company and ask them to describe the process, either to you or someone who can then gently relay the info to you. And I agree with ayla7, once your Rocki is put to sleep, if you choose to use the rendering process, walk away from the loading. My guess is those are images you don't want in your head. Review pictures of Rocki, or go out to the barn and love on your other horses. And keep those precious memories of Rocki and the fact that you gave him a wonderful, loving home for many years, close to your heart
|
Member:
pattyb
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 10:03 am:
Brandi.....one last thought...have you asked the vet if he knows anyone who would open their pasture for you to bury him there? You might be pleasantly surprised at the vet's answer. If I lived near you, you would be welcome to bring him here.....we've probably all been there at some point in our lives. Don't want to upset you but it may be worth enquiring....
(((((Brandi and Rocki)))))
|
Member:
npo33901
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 10:24 am:
Brandi, ayla7 is giving you a good advise.
Dear Brandi, I feel your the pain . You took the right decision . Be with him in his last moments, in his home surroundings - that is all that matters .
I've seen loading of cows into a truck and it is not nice to watch .
Please, go away , don't look , don't listen, go away !!
Don't spoil all the lovely memories you two had together .
Peaceful journey Rocki ....
|
Member:
jolie
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 10:36 am:
I third ayla7. Once you have seen him through turn and walk away. Your friend will no longer be of this earth. I also second Brandi's suggestion if possible. Peace to both of you!
|
Member:
mrose
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 11:14 am:
Dear Brandi, no matter what it's not easy whether this is your first time through this process or your 20th time. As a person who's owned horses her entire life, sadly I've had to face this many times and it's never easy.
My suggestion, if at all possible, is to arrange for the truck to come an hour or so after the vet comes. Talk to your vet and have him discribe the process that he will use, reactions of the horse, etc. Make sure he gives the "twilight" shot first that sedates the horse. This will lessen any fight reflex and make it easier for both you and the horse. Stand with your horse and feed him his favorite treats and talk to him while the vet is there. I usually let my horses hand graze while I groom them one last time then feed them the stuff they shouldn't eat but love.
If you want/need to, spend some time with your horse after he goes down from the shot the vet gives. As his body warmth leaves him, you will realize he has left this earth and what is left is just an empty shell, not your beloved horse.Cover his body with a sheet and then go inside. Look at pictures, think about the wonderful times you've had together. Mourn. Go to bed and pull the covers up over your head - whatever you feel like doing.
If the truck crew can not handle the body removal on their own or want an owner or your representative there, see if there is someone you can get to replace you. You shouldn't be there. Usually, the crew won't need you and can handle it on their own.
Loosing a horse,or any animal, that you've had for many years and that you have developed such a close bond with, is so hard and something that most people who haven't been in your shoes won't understand. Come back on this board and "cry on our shoulders" or find a animal loving friend to share your grief. It will help.
Hugs to you. This is the one last kindness you can do for your beloved friend. And, remember, it is a kindness you are doing.
|
Member:
shirl
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 2:22 pm:
Dear Brandi,
I agree 100% with Sara. I did all those things when I lost my Sierra, felt her last sweet, warm breath as her spirt flew to the bridge. She was cremated but it matters not, after I spent time with her body, I walked away and the haulers did a very kind, gentle job with her remains per my son.
Many kind thoughts and prayers coming your way,
Shirl
|
Member:
natalya
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 3:34 pm:
Dear Brandi, I couldn't read your post without tears, it brought me a memory of my horse I had to putdown last year day before Thanksgiving, and about 2 years ago, we lost our mustang do to collics, they both were picked up by a truck, I was there but I couldn't turn and watch. I felt like I betrayed my horse at first by doing that, but you got to do what you got to do. later on I was thinking that body its just a temporary, the spirit is no longer there. That only a pease of mined for living, the dead don't really care. So what ever your plan is its Ok, you give him more though his life-your love and care. Be at peace.
|
Member:
rtrotter
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 7:36 pm:
Hi Brandi,
Most of the people who run "the truck" are very caring and they are doing a job that must be done. We have a husband and wife team that comes out and they come when you ask them too. I too have had to deal with this issue and I spend as much time as possible with my animals and stay with them until they are totally gone and I cover them with a blanket. When the truck comes, I do not watch, instead I sit in the living room and look at all my horse pictures until they leave.
You have made the right decision for your friend, and he will thank you when he is no longer here but across the rainbow bridge and galloping down the road with all of his horsey friends.
Take care
Rachelle
|
Member:
paul303
|
Posted on Tuesday, Dec 20, 2011 - 8:54 pm:
Sara is right. If at all possible, don't be there. You owe it to your horse and yourself, to make every effort to rejoice in all the good - and there was probably a lot of good. We all owe it to ourselves to make sure that having our horses as companions, will be only about the wonder and awe of the experience. There will be the grief of loss, but it should be filled with the knowledge that suffering has ended and the joy of having had the gift of this horse - for as many years as you were allowed. Don't ever associate Rocki's passing with Rocki. The two are not related.
Horses fill some weird spot in us horse people. We are not complete without them. The unrivaled elation they engender in us cannot be duplicated. Don't taint that with sorrow, fear or grief. That's not Rocki. Rocki is love, enjoyment, soft hair, hard muscle and amazement. Allow Rocki to leave you with the incredible gifts he brought to your life. Few people get to enjoy these equine gifts...how wonderful that we few get to hold these gifts to our hearts for the rest of our lives.
|
Member:
babychop
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 21, 2011 - 12:07 am:
I had to have my little Arab mare put down when she shattered her fetlock in a freak accident and it ripped my heart out. I stayed with her to see her out but couldn't bear to be there for 'the truck' to take her away. My ex told me they winched her up onto a flatbed with a barrier around it so nobody could see her. I'm glad I wasn't there to see it, putting her down was hard enough - I don't think I've ever cried so hard - but I was left with the lasting memory of her fighting spirit and not that of her carcass being hefted onto a truck which I'm thankful for. Something to consider.
|
Member:
brandi
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 21, 2011 - 1:28 am:
You are all so great, thank you for all the wisdom and love. I am considering it, but it feels so much like shirking my responsibilities if I don't see it through that far. My husband is working hard to get me away too, but honestly, he's not going to have any easier time than I will. Rocki's my little man, I feel so much like it's my job to see this through to the end. I guess the real answer for me lies in where I choose to see the "end", right?
|
New Member:
ayla7
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 21, 2011 - 2:39 am:
One more thought Brani...Does Rocki have a favorite treat, place or anything you feel he 'wears that he looks to feel proud of or in?
As well, do you have a place to build a little 'memorial' maybe just temporary in your house or barn that you can go too after you (very hopefully) get to spend some time with him after he becomes, well, maybe a sense of an angel to you. This may sound strange too some, but having grieved many losses, including my Mother, somehow, they are just still there & with you, @ least for a time. Should you have many of the memories somewhere that brings you comfort, I think you will be able to have peace & closure and be able to place your buddy & his things in a 'put away' spot taking all the time you need for comfort. When my dau. & I had to put our 2 dobies to sleep (they had raised her), before we went she cut out the big emblem on the sweatshirt s she used to dress them in & sewed them into a kind of blanket. We got chocolate bars for each of them to have @ the vets office 'just before'. The ride home was devastating. When we got home, I continued to 'lose it'. She went straight to her room & decorated her largest wall with pictures, their collars, poems...it was really something. It took her a few years after several moves for her to downsize their shrine. She was 9, I think, @ the time. She is now 16, still has their collars on her wall & pic's..but just a few. How great is that to handle our loss? She taught me alot.Will be thinking about you. Warmly, Carol
|
Member:
ajudson1
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 21, 2011 - 8:51 am:
Brandi,
I have been following this and haven't had time to log in and post. Let me share my experiences.
We knew our wondered Arab mare would have to be put down and had to pick the time. We waited until we were all convinced her eyes said it was time. The day before the vet came, we groomed her til she was shiny and silky, gave her treats, and her favorite meal, and tooks lot of pictures. And cried in her mane a bit too.
The next day I said my good-byes in the barn, and my husband led her to the hole we had ready, vet and backhoe there. I was at peace with everything, but I made a big mistake. I looked out just as she was being lifted up to be lowered into the hole. That got me. It helped that my husband and the vet both told me how easily she crossed over, how quickly it all happened. It was as if she was ready to go.
I don't regret being there right at the END, but wish I hadn't look out the door when I did.
We have many pictures of Fancy up, and we are lucky she is buried here on our property. She will always be in our hearts, that one in a lifetime horse we all dream of having.
We have her mane from trimming her up that last day, and her bridle, and name plate.
Take care.
|
Member:
brandi
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 12:27 am:
Thanks everyone for such great thoughts, advice and support. We said our goodbyes on Thursday... what a difficult thing to do - I have not experienced a lot of "big" loss in my life, saying goodbye to Rocki was so very painful, and I've never felt that kind of pain before. But I heeded all the good advice here, and did not stay for the "loading." After he was down and gone, I found it so much easier than I expected to disconnect from his body (white-knuckled hanging on to the truck as they were driving away was not outside the realm of scenarios in my head!). Thankfully it was not like that at all.
But before that, we brought all the other horses to him, so they could process his being gone. His long-time (20+ year) companion was interested and attentive, but in just a minute or so he was ready to move on. 3 other horses barely acknowledged the body, and lastly, Boomer, a horse we care for because his 14-year old owner was killed in a riding accident with him, processed the longest. He was the only one that seemed upset - mildly so, but somewhat concerned. I was happy that none seemed too upset, and all have adjusted perfectly to the absence of their herd-mate. This is important to me. I am so thankful he was able to pass at home, for him, for me, for all these guys. And now I turn to the rewarding task of making a huge scrapbook of my little Rock-star. He has taught many kids, and a few adults to joy of life from the back of a horse, and I've asked all to contribute their memories to his scrapbook.
Thank you everyone for such love and support. You really did help me during this tough time.
|
Member:
mrose
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 12:34 am:
I'm all went as well as one could hope. He has a beautiful face. The scrapebook is a wonderful idea and a fitting tribute.
|
Member:
canter
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 9:56 am:
A lovely, sweet face! I hope all your wonderful memories of Rocki bring you some comfort.
|
New Member:
ayla7
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 1:10 pm:
Brandi,
I love that you provided closure for the herd...Rocky is beautiful! I once read a book titled "All Horses Go To Heaven". I believe this too. Sounds like he had a great life, because he was loved by you......Warmly, Carol
|
Member:
lilo
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 4:19 pm:
What a beautiful, kind face! Putting together that scrapbook will help a lot. So sorry for your loss, Lilo
|
Member:
leilani
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 8:12 pm:
Brandi,
You held up well under the saddest of circumstances. I know many of us have had to choose when the 'end' is the only humane decision for one of our beloved animals. All our animals are lucky that we have that option to end their suffering. Take care. Leilani
|
Member:
babychop
|
Posted on Wednesday, Dec 28, 2011 - 11:12 pm:
He was such a beautiful boy, it sounds like you did the best for everyone involved. I'm glad you made it through okay. The scrapbook does sound like a lovely tribute. God bless.
|
Member:
paul303
|
Posted on Friday, Dec 30, 2011 - 12:44 am:
Well done, Brandi.
|
Member:
quatro
|
Posted on Friday, Dec 30, 2011 - 7:18 pm:
Through tears, as we went through the same with Dusty this past year, hugs to you!
suz
|
|
|
