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  Discussion on We lost our mare
Author Message
Member:
Santucci

Posted on Sunday, Jan 4, 2004 - 7:38 pm:

Last night we had to put down my daughter's 30 year old Quarter Horse mare, Shasta. She seemed fine earlier in the week, but Wednesday I noticed she had some shavings stuck to her right ear. I thought she had just rolled in some wet manure and didn't think much of it. Saturday morning she had fluid coming out of the ear. It took several hours to get a vet, he checked her ear and found a bad infection deep in the ear canal. He gave her massive doses of steroids and antibiotics, but within a few hours her vision started to go, she couldn't walk or stand, finally fell and we had to call him back to put her down.

What could have caused this? The vet is surmising that maybe she had a tick deep in her ear, and that caused an infection which spread to her brain, although she hadn't been shaking her head, and he examined her ears in October and put some anti-tick stuff in them then. I feel so bad that I didn't realize the "stuck" stuff was actually due to fluid coming from the ear - maybe if I had been more alert and we had treated the infection Wednesday we could have saved her. To make matters even worse, my daughter is in Kuwait and we had to tell her by phone.

I keep telling myself that there probably wasn't anything we could do, the barn manager even wondered if she might have had a tumor or something, and the fluid from the ear was secondary. But this is such a devastating loss - we've had her for 14 years and she was my daughter's best friend. The good thing is it was quick, the bad thing is getting over the shock and the guilt. I feel terrible.
Moderator:
DrO

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 5:31 am:

My sincere condolences Carolyn. Though I tend to discount the tick theory any of the above is possible and a combination of careful postmortem exam and skull radiographs would help answer your questions. You should not be hard on yourself for I too think the rapid nature suggests a process that already was advanced before you notice the shavings on the ear which is not much of a clue of a devasting process going on.
DrO
Member:
Hwood

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 10:39 am:

Carolyn . . . no guilt is necessary . . . the fact that you even noticed the shavings stuck to her ear is proof that you pay attention to your horse. Thirty years is a decent age for a horse . . . and it is obvious that you and your daughter took care of her, or she wouldn't have survived THAT long. If we have horses, we will most likely outlive most of the ones we own . . . It's so hard to say, "Good-bye," to them, but so wonderful to have them in our lives and to have the great learning experiences and memories. Focus on those things and encourage your daughter find comfort in doing the same.
Holly
Member:
Jjet

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 12:34 pm:

It would be wonderful if we could anticpate and correct everything bad that could happen to our horses. Your horse was lucky to have found a good home at age 16, and then go on to live to a natural end at thirty. It seems to me that if she hadn't been shaking her head or showing other symptoms, her infection probably advanced very quickly. An old horse can't fight these things off so easily. She lived a good life. Your feeling of guilt is understandable but misplaced. Holly is right, try to help your daughter to focus on the good memories, and realize that, for a horse, Shasta enjoyed a nice,long life.

Hang in there,
Jan
Member:
Santucci

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 7:16 pm:

Thank you, Dr. O, Holly, and Jan. I'll be OK eventually. I'm just one of those people who should never have animals, I fall apart when they die. We lost a cat about six months ago, he was diabetic, and I kept him going for 4 years with twice daily insulin shots, and I'm still upset that I couldn't save him.

I forgot to mention some other symptoms that Shasta had - Saturday morning she had a discharge from her right nostril, white/yellow, we thought she had a respiratory infection because that's what it looked like. Also by the time the vet came out, the right side of her face was sagging - do horses have strokes? The vet said he'd never seen anything like it - very puzzling. I thought briefly about an autopsy, but I didn't want to put her, or myself, through that. If it turned out the infection caused her death, and I could have saved her if I'd had her treated sooner, I couldn't deal with it. I'm having enough trouble dealing with the possibility.

I'll tell how sappy we are - my daughter wants to run an obituary in the paper. Until Shasta retired 9 years ago, she and my daughter participated in every horse show in the county for 4 years, so lots of people knew her and loved her.

This is what my daughter wants to say:

Ida Pappy Bar
"Shasta"
26 April 1974 - 3 January, 2004
My best friend and beloved companion, my Quarter horse mare, died after a brief illness. She was beautiful, strong and talented, and was a terrific competitor who loved a challenge. She was much loved by many children in the horse show community, and was a patient teacher to new riders. She leaves two daughters, Kit and Sprout.

"I hear no music but the sound of hoofbeats."

Sappy, isn't it. OK, I'm crying again...thanks again for your support.
Member:
Hwood

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 7:28 pm:

Lovely obituary, Carolyn . . . Go for it. It will provide a type of closure for all of you, and will be a memorial of the confidence and joy Shasta gave to other riders and of the enjoyment she brought to the spectators at the shows; both of whom will be interested in knowing of her passing.
Holly
Member:
Santucci

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 7:47 pm:

Thanks, Holly, I'm going to do the obituary as soon as I can bear to look through pictures to go with it. Forgot to mention, as well, that Shasta had colic surgery 4 years ago, so I guess she was actually living on borrowed time. Still can't believe it and it will be a long time before I'm over it. Thanks again.
Member:
Mrose

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 8:10 pm:

Carolyn-I love the obituary. It's a great idea. I know first hand, as do most of us, how difficult it is to loose a long time friend like your daughter's Shasta. It is never easy. But, you'll all recover and probably wind up with another horse that you will also grow to love. You are just the kind of person who should have animals; you love them and care for them properly. Don't blame yourself. Shasta was "getting up there" in age and you obviously took good care of her for many years. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do.
Member:
Jjet

Posted on Monday, Jan 5, 2004 - 11:24 pm:

The obit will be a beautiful tribute to a wonderful mare for all she meant to you, your daughter and your community. The Quarter Horse Journal prints a long list of horse obituaries in every issue, and they also are lovingly written. I think it just shows the what fabulous creatures these animals are and how deservedly well-loved.
Jan
Member:
Canyon28

Posted on Tuesday, Jan 6, 2004 - 12:33 am:

yes, please call the AQHA or email them the obit, they will also print a picture of her. When I lost my favorite mare two years ago , they printed the picture of me riding her in sidesaddle and costume, and also had several nice paragraphs about her.
What a sad story, but you know she lived a long time. how sad that your daughter is overseas, I know she is heartbroken right now, too.
Member:
Shirl

Posted on Tuesday, Jan 6, 2004 - 10:33 am:

Carolyn,
My sincere condolences in your loss. The Obit is wonderful - do whatever makes you and your daughter deal with the pain. I wrote one years ago for my son's beloved German Shepard that was adored by all that knew him, and he was like a grandchild to me. I too, should probably not have animals, I'm touched too deeply by the slightest injury. My Sierra has Cushings, but so far is doing well, though could use a 4 leg transplant! Thoughts and Prayers, Shirl
Member:
Santucci

Posted on Wednesday, Jan 7, 2004 - 7:42 pm:

Thanks, everyone, for your support. We had let our AQHA membership lapse, but I'll contact them and see if we can renew it, then put in the notice. She really was a special horse, a great-granddaughter of both Three Bars and Peppy. She was 17 when we bought her, and my daughter did everthing from barrel racing, to cross country, to dressage, to show jumping on her. A wonderful, talented, generous mare who will be sorely missed. Hope I stop crying one of these days.
Member:
Hwood

Posted on Wednesday, Jan 7, 2004 - 9:15 pm:

Carolyn,
The tears WILL stop . . . but the wonderful memories will last forever . . . and bring joy.
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