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Discussion on Breaking in a new trainer
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Member:
Hpyhaulr
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Posted on Thursday, Jan 4, 2007 - 9:44 pm:
Dear Village,
I am fairly new here, but LOVING every minute of this spectacular education. When I first started getting into horses 4 years ago, I did some pretty stupid stuff. I got one horse as an investment, and never wanted to fall in love with him, so I sent him to a trainer. That mistake was in Kentucky and it cost me a few thousand before I figured out that he wasn't doing much of anything but cashing the dummy's checks. SO I got it into my head that he would make a great cutting horse. Stage mother that I am, I LOVE cutting and with so much Doc Bar in him of course he would too, right??? WRONG!!! I found a cutting trainer close to home who cost me a few more thousands and Mac spent most of his time on a hot walker. He has 0% body fat but could not care less if a cow walked over his face. The trainer recommended gelding him and bringing him home, which we did. We love him now and the thought of selling him ulcerates me more than I deserve. HE LOVES to run. Has a serious need for speed, so now we are thinking maybe barrel racing??? (pros & cons please????)
Fast forward to now... I still have a couple more horses to be trained, and did I mention, I needed riding lessons. I have spent years mucking, grooming, moving them, working them out, just loving them and "building the partnership" but I could not ride. The trainers I had on the past were huge disappointments, so we are creating one. A few months ago I happened upon this kid. She is 18, and just as smart and lovely as you could ever hope for. With a solid background in horses, she has been helping me run this place when Walt is gone (which is almost always) and is breaking in the other horses, teaching me to ride (Joy of Joys!) and has fallen in love with one of my mares. We are selling the mare to her. I just adore Honey, but she is too much horse for me, (kind of like giving your 16 year old a Porsche when he gets his drivers permit) but Amanda "gets" Honey and equally important, Honey loves her right back.
I keep telling you guys that it DOES take a Village. You are part of mine now and since I gave her an HA subscription for part of her Christmas present, you are her Village too. (See Mare Experiencing Lameness thread)Honey is having problems, and since Amanda knows more about equine anatomy and "reading" a horse and his/her brain waves.. we are relying heavily on her opinions and trusting her experience and efforts. Her work ethic is outstanding, but she needs more of a support system and that is why I gave her the present of YOU.
I am telling you all this to ask your help. In Amanda's perfect world, she would live, breathe and overdose on horses. She wants more than anything to be a trainer. In the past month I have spent an OBSCENE amount of time reading and studying posts on this website and I know this much..Y'all have so much in your hearts and heads... you have so much to give this young woman. Feed her all you can. She will make us all proud some day. BTW, someone told her that there is no money in training and if you want to be financially self sufficient, make another career choice. Can you address that for her? Thank you for all the support and input I know you will be giving her.
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Member:
Jojo15
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 12:16 am:
mentoring is such an awesome thing. And the rewards are a 100 fold...kudos cyndy.
You can be financially self sufficient working at mcdonalds... You just need to be SMART with the money you do make. So that comment is just from a jaded soul.
as to money.. who needs it. really. I tried. and succeeded to an extant, but then realized why? why do i need (as you say the porsche?). My life choice could have gone in a very different avenue, if i stuck to that route, but it changed thankfully because of horses. And with it the attitude, zest, fun, excitement, happiness, and so on... TEN FOLD. (i still do what i do for a living as always just on my own terms and pace).
And for me the happiness comes from the animals.
and another important point. IF YOU LOVE WHAT YOU DO, THE MONEY WILL COME...You might never be rich in dollars, but who cares. In the end, at the end of a day the only thing that matters is contentment. The money shows up for what you need. Not necessarily what you want. And being self -sufficient in many ways is also a way to make the money you do make, or have last.
At 18 i think that these thoughts are way to far advanced. There are so many other things to be thinking about. But keep in the back of your head some of this stuff.
I say be a trainer. Actions always speak louder than words. And you can't fool a horse. If they accept you as one than you're stuck. You're a trainer.
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 10:19 am:
This is a topic that really hits home with me .. I did not pursue my passion at an early age, and have regretted it ever since. First of all, realize that the ability to train horses is not just a career choice, it is a gift. Jojo is absolutely right, you can not fool the horse. They will let you know early on if you are a trainer.
Training is building a bond of trust and communication with a horse and this ability is part of your soul. I have worked with people who can understand the techniques, but are absolutley hopeless with the horse, and I have worked with people who know very little about methods, but have the horse totally committed to them.
If you have this inside you and you do not pursue, you will always have an empty feeling and a yearning in your gut. It is hard work, but I can tell you that I am energized and satisfied after 16 hours of working with horses, and totally zapped after 8 hours in the office on my day job.
So please, pursue your passion .. learn all you can and be open to all and filter through your own training values, keeping the safety of both you and horse and the mental balance of the horse as key.
It is easy to say that money isn't important and I agree to a point .. but, we all got to eat. I think there is much opportunity out there for a young and talented trainer to excel and be profitable, you may just have to be patient and absorb a few hard knocks on the way.
Good luck, and I hope all falls in place for you. I envy you and wish you the best.
DT
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 10:45 am:
I agree about the "empty feeling," Dennis. A few years ago, I took a hard look at my life and asked myself, "If I am lying on my death bed tomorrow, and all my family is standing around me . . . will I have any regrets before I die?"
The answer gave me the initiative and courage to leave the security of the familiar rut and pursue what I love . . . and I have no regrets about the path my life has taken in the past four years since leaving Vermont (although Vermont will always be "home" to me).
If any of this touches a cord with any of you HA members, try this: The Dream Giver by David Wilkinson -- a short allegory that packs a powerful message.
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Member:
Ajudson1
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 11:33 am:
Dennis and Holly, I so know what you mean. I too feel like time with horses isn't work. I get soo "lost" with them, in a good way. In the zone I guess would be another way of putting it.
Don't know if I could ever train for others because then I'd feel the pressure to get certain things done in a certain time frame, and I don't think that works with horses. Unlike Holly, I have no desire to train people, just the horses. But I am going to take the opportunity this summer and help her, and who knows? Maybe it will lead to something for me.
Dennis, your post is just wonderful for anyone with horse dreams. And your point about the horse knowing if I am a trainer or not, ha, guess I'll have to go ask them, LOL!!!
Anyone, any age: Follow your dreams or you'll never be happy with your life. Not the real deep down inside total bliss and contentment that comes from doing what you love. Money doesn't buy happiness (but it does help no doubt to have enough money to make do anyhow).
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Member:
Erika
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 1:04 pm:
So Holly, you did become an exotic dancer? You go girl!
Seriously, this has been a recurring topic and I think most of us agree that as long as you can feed the family, a job you love is worth so much more than a big paycheck for something you don't love.
Good luck to your young protege.
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 1:46 pm:
Erika .. you are not paying attention to the other post (gelding). I became an exotic dancer ... Holly is the cowboy.
Ditto on your comments ... a paycheck only goes so far if you don't love what you are doing.
DT
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 2:08 pm:
Not an exotic one . . . but sometimes my horses dance.
I'll leave the exotic dancing to Dennis and Corinne.
I know Corinne does belly dancing, but it's kind of hard for me to picture Dennis doing that . . . so I bet you do the "Dances with Cows" in the manner of Eitan Beth Halachmy, huh, Dennis? or maybe that cute little Hempfling guy?
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 2:30 pm:
Holly .. trust me, Klaus and I have nothing in common, unfortunately.
Your story is inspiring me, maybe it is not too late. I admire and envy you.
I found the "Dream Giver" but it is by Bruce Wilkinson, I assume this is the same. I now have it on my must read list.
DT
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Member:
Dres
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 2:35 pm:
EXOTIC DANCERS? DANCING WITH COWS? COWBOYS? GELDINGS..
I must start reading ALL the threads.. it appears I have lost out on what your true personalities are.. 
May I be the CAREGIVER? all tho , it does not have the pizzazz the other titles have..  it somehow fits very well lately..
On the first day God created horses, on the second day he painted them with spots..
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 2:47 pm:
You got it, Dennis . . . I'm sorry I had the name wrong. I always get it mixed up with David WilKERson . . .
Enjoy!
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Member:
Sully
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 2:48 pm:
Oh to be young without anything to tie me down in one place!!! There are opportunities to go work with some of the great cutting horse trainers and learn the process. If only <sigh> I had known. I think a lot of them make a decent or above decent living too! The owner pays to have the horse trained (about 2yrs worth) and if they are talented, both the horse and trainer, they go on to show. The owner pays and if the horse places, the trainer splits the winning check. Usually getting half of all winnings. Trainers work hard for their money, putting in obscene hours, but when a horse they have trained can put a smile on their face in a training session, I think thats what keeps them going! I know thats what keeps me writing those checks!!! Hopes and dreams. Must be what follow your dreams is all about
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 2:52 pm:
"Pizzazz" in the eyes of others shouldn't be a motivating factor, Ann. Do what you are gifted to do . . . Do what makes you feel the most YOU . . . Do what gives you the most fulfillment. When we recognize, develop, dream, and use the gifts that were built into us since birth . . . That's when we do the most good for ourselves and others in this world. So, of COURSE, be a caregiver . . . be the best caregiver you can be . . . and your work will energize you and your example will inspire others to be the best they can be, too.
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 3:14 pm:
Sully, when the time is right, you'll be able to move forward . . . in the meantime, take confident, forward steps TOWARD what you love to learn and then you'll be ready to dive in with gusto when you are free to do so.
If we find ourselves miserable and depressed because of where we are in life, then it's a sign that changes need to be made . . . and we are the ones that need to make those changes. Sometimes the changes are just attitudinal changes, sometimes, they have to do with correcting unhealthy patterns in relationships or lifestyles . . . sometimes the changes involve a job change . . . sometimes a location change . . . and the changes almost always involve sacrifice. We are never "stuck." We just have to be creative. I found that my feelings of being "stuck" were more due to fear of change . . . of things not working out if I left the security of my home and all that was familiar . . . What I found was that as I walked forward, the fears disappeared because they weren't real . . . We can always move forward in one way or another . . . If learning from cutting trainers and working with them or being one yourself is your dream, then I am confident you will find a way to make that happen.
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Member:
Hpyhaulr
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 4:08 pm:
Thank you village.... this is pretty much what I have been telling her, too. I am appropriately jealous of anyone young and limber who knows in their heart what they want to be when they "grow up". To know and deny yourself HAS to have a sin attached to it. A big one!
Is there a particular website you can send me to get that book? (we don't live in downtown nowhere, but we can see it from here).
Anybody want to weigh in on the barrelracing issue? I know Mac lives to run, but I am concerned about the wear & tear on him. He is a 4yo Foundation AQHA buckskin with great heart and wheels. If I had a 50 acre field for him to run in he would gladly run himself into the ground.
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Member:
Dres
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 4:25 pm:
Don't know if this was mentioned but want to be trainers have to pay their dues as well.. Most trainers at one time worked/ groomed for well established trainers.. usually for pennies a day or just for the one lesson they would receive for the days work.. I know a trainer that lived in a trailer at a big barn when she was 12 years old during summer vacations.. she would muck out stalls / groom / hand walk and help with the set ups for inspections and auctions.. As she grew older finished school , she again lived full time in the trailer still working for the barn.. This was for years.. She now can hang out her own shingle, her experience was invaluable for her career, and something she can and does fall back on in her resume..
On the first day God created horses, on the second day he painted them with spots..
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Member:
Mrose
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 5:01 pm:
Some smart people here! I've nothing to add, can only repeat what's been said.
Holly...wish there were people like you around when I was young; I had to learn the hard way.
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Member:
Mcbizz
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 5:30 pm:
Cyndy, you are SO fortunate to find Amanda! What I wouldn't give to have an 18 year old to ride out with!} Still miss my best partner, my daughter, who lives in NYC and is an art critic.
Now, I can give you a wee bit of insight into the barrel racing...we bought an 11 year old quarter horse, champion barrel racer and gymkana horse when we first got into horses. He was HOT!!! Very, very fast and powerful. We geared him down to a western pleasure show horse and finally a very nice trail horse. The barrel racing had really hyped him up, couldn't take him NEAR an arena for the first two years we had him...he would go berzerk...But we stuck with it, he turned out to be a wonderful horse. I ponied my younger ones from him, he was a "mother" to my orphan mustangs. A true treasure. He lived to be 31, sound to the day he died. I could go on forever about Cowboy. Other than the fire and brimstone, I don't think the barrel racing hurt him at all...we never used him for that, but the people we bought him from were very good to him and he came to us with a marvelous attitude.
Hope this gives you some insight from The Village.
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Member:
Hpyhaulr
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 5:32 pm:
Amanda started out here mucking and grooming, which she still does. It is a joy to see her come to life around them. These are MY kids and every day she teaches me something new about them. This is the fuel that drives her. Anyone with ambitions for a profession has a lot of rungs to climb and lots of dues to pay. She has switched her major from Nursing(what was that about????!) to Business Administration for Equine Management which is getting closer, but not quite enough IMO. You are who and what you are and when you try to deny that you get into trouble. (Brush up on your Shakespeare)...She just never got support in this direction before..I think it is a bit out of her comfort zone to have it, but I am betting it is something one can get used to real easily.
I'll let her tell you the rest. ....
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 6:26 pm:
Silly, Sarah . . . so did I. 
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Member:
Green007
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 7:07 pm:
Hello everyone,
I have been so busy, I haven't written in forever. I am STILL too busy to write but just had to say that this thread had me bursting out in laughter. I am holding up my glass of Friday wine to the computer screen in toast to the wonderful HA Village...
I myself am an ex-trainer who got out of it years ago when I put the security of a desk job in front of my passion. I did it for all the right reasons - my ex-husband left me in a sea of debt with a 9 month old baby. I didn't even see it coming, but at that point in time, I had no choice but to put my horse career on hold to get a job that would pay steady income.
As they say, you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl. After a few years, I bought a welsh pony, then a QH, then another horse as resale projects. I would train them and people would watch and ask me questions about what I was doing. Next thing I knew, people were asking me to train horses again so I started to do it on the side as a glorified hobby. I don't make as much money doing it as I do at my desk job, but the truth is I would do it for free.
When you love something this much, you just have to feed your soul. Do I have any regrets that I quit horse training to get a desk job? No, because my son needed me, and it turned out in the end that I got to have my cake and eat it too by continuing to train on the side.
Do I have any regrets that I decided to do horse training full time right out of college instead of building my career so I could be at the senior officer level at my company like all of the others in my age group? NO WAY! I wouldn't give back my full time horse training years for the whole wide world. Luckily for me, my desk job supports my horse career and allows me to pick and chose who and when I want to work with, ride or teach, whether I want to sell a horse or keep going. It takes all the pressure off, which is a lovely thing. That said, one of my best friends from high school never DrOpped out of the horse business and is making pretty good money these days doing what he loves. He has gotten to a stage in his horse career where he, too, can pick and chose his clients. At the beginning, you have to take everyone, even ill tempered people who second guess everything you do and don't respect your talents or your time. Amanda is very lucky to have someone like you, Cyndy, so please keep her enthusiastic! Hats off to you for supporting her, though. All horse trainers want caring, devoted owners like you.
My advice is, she should take her passion and run with it. If she wants to beef up qualifications, there are plenty of wonderful trainer certification programs out there, like ARICP, that can let her know if she is on the right track compared to a benchmark of highly professional trainers. That said, if the horses love her as much as you say they do, all the certifications in the world won't matter. She will find clients anyway, because the world desperately needs good trainers and will actively seek them out.
Good luck to both Amanda and you, Cyndy. And HUGE hugs to Holly, Erika and Dennis for the wonderful advice, but especially for the laughs. I am still laughing!
Cheers!
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Member:
Corinne
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 8:04 pm:
Hello everyone. You all crack me up. Dennis you can teach me what you know about your discipline and I will teach you dressage and bellydancing.....both of which I have to say I waited until late late in my 20's before I had the opportunity to pursue...always with a nagging thought in my mind about the lost passions!
So now at 32....I can ride a decent dressage test, shimmy until the cows come home, and even though I am making $80,000 less a year than I was when I was 28, I couldn't be happier. I am in grad school to pursue a second career and I spend all my free time with my horse and horses just bring me so much joy that I couldn't imagine the fulfillment of training them! Having Demetrius in my life has brought to me so much more than getting on him every day thinking to myself "this is my child hood dream" and trotting off feeling like an excited 10 yr old, I think of all the wonderful people I have met through horses. People who would give you the shirt off your back just because of this common bond, and of course all of you!
So I say to Amanda go for your dreams, work your way up, get your education and remember you are so young if it doesn't pan out you have a lifetime to pursue other options but will have a blast in the mean time. Great luck to you!
v/r
Corinne
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Member:
Corinne
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 8:11 pm:
P.S. I do have to add, being sorta newly married, my husband gets the hours of my free time in between sleeping and waking...poor thing...if only he would learn to love the barn!
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 8:40 pm:
Cyndy,
Two things:
Amazon.com will have the Wilkinson book . . . and I bet there are some used copies out there, too. Check on e-bay.
Amanda's dream of managing an Equine Business may get a boost from CHA (Certified Horsemanship Association) which is moving its headquarters from Tyler, TX, to the Kentucky Horse Park. CHA certifies instructors, trail guides, works in partnership with NARHA to certify therapeutic riding insttructors, and has a certification for Equine Facility Management, too.
(https://www.cha-ahse.org)
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 8:52 pm:
Corinne,
I bet if you start wearing your belly dancing outfit when you muck and ride . . . or do the Lady Godiva thing . . . hubby would begin to find the barn a pretty attractive place. ;-)
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 9:09 pm:
Debbie,
Thank you for sharing your story. It brings up a very important point . . . and that is:
Using the gifts within us . . . following those dreams that were planted in us by our Creator . . . is not a selfish thing because it is when we live to be all we can be that we truly are a blessing to the world. It's when we try to fit into a box that isn't the right shape . . . when we hold ourselves back out of fear (fear of failure, fear of displeasing someone else, fear of succeeding) that we end up depriving ourselves and others of the blessings that we would otherwise bring into their lives and our own.
You followed your horse training dreams . . . and followed your "being a good mom" dreams . . . and you got to grow in both areas . . . and now you get to do both . . . with great peace and no regrets! Kudos to you!
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Member:
Green007
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 9:14 pm:
Corinne,
Though I am am english rider, I bought my husband and son an 18 year old, bombproof, pushbutton, retired western pleasure QH who moves like his is gliding on water. He doesn't power-collect, he jogs. He does perfect canter departs from a halt and stops on a dime no matter how many mistakes they make. They both like the barn a whole lot better than when all I had were project horses!
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Member:
Green007
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 9:22 pm:
Thanks Holly, I am quite pleased with how things turned out. The funny thing is, when I was going through my divorce, realizing that I was about to become a single mother and getting out of horses all at the same time, I truly thought my life was somehow "over." How wrong I was! How full life is!
Some might say I have perseverance. But mostly, I am just plain flat out stubborn...
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Member:
Hunysgrl
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Posted on Friday, Jan 5, 2007 - 11:05 pm:
I am soaking up all of this information that is being given to me. I greatly appreciate it and hope to continue to receive even more! I am not sure exactly what field I would like to train in. I like the idea of training cutting horses. I would like some information on how to get in touch with some of the trainers who want students to work with them and learn the process. I have loved horses since I was old enough to know what they were. I begged until I was ten to have one of my own. I took riding lessons for two years learning english. I've heard if you can ride english, then you can ride any discipline. I find myself tending to lean more toward riding western now. I absolutely love trail riding. There is just something about being out there on the horse you love under the blue clear sky without a worry in the world other than you and your horse. It is so calming and relieving. Sometimes just sitting in the barn or in the pasture watching her walk around contently and munching on hay or grass is so invigorating to my soul. I was born to be with the horse. Honey is the type of horse who prefers my companionship to that of a horse at times. She loves to cuddle, but she knows when it is time for work. Right now she has an injured fetlock and has been put on soft ground with rest. She and I both are hoping she gets better soon. She is a much happier horse when she gets to work. If you never seen a horse like her, it's hard to understand. She loves to work. I like the speed events, including barrel racing and pole bending, but I also like Western Pleasure. Don't get me wrong I still ride english quite often. I find that horses respect me and I respect them and therefore they listen to what I ask of them. I love these animals. They teach me patience and so many other virtues of life, just as I teach them. I still have much to learn about the art of training and the discipline I want to work with. I understand that money is not needed other than for the necessities. My parents weren't very supportive of me and what I wanted to do unless it was what they wanted me to do, (something that made a lot of money, such as a lawyer, nurse, etc.). I don't know if anyone has heard of St. Andrews Presbyterian College in Laurinburg, NC, but this is a local college that has an equine business management major, but this does not really help me in the training area.
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 7:24 am:
Amanda ...
You are fortunate to understand your passion and know what you want to do at an early age. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I am 53 years old. My wife says that is not a problem because I will probably never grow up anyway.
My advice is to put your heart and soul into realizing your dream. As Corrine said, if it doesn't work out, you are young enough to recover and move on. If you don't do it now, you may never get the opportunity again.
I only caution you to go into it with your eyes open. It is not all fun and playing with horses. Be prepared for a lot of hard work and long hours. Much of what you will do as a trainer does not even involve "riding" a horse.If you don't enjoy scooping crap as much as turning a barrel, proceed with caution.
As for the "equine business management" not being helpful, you couldn't be more wrong. As a trainer, you will also be responsible for the overall well being of every horse you work with, and the billing, record keeping, and all that goes with it is important. Don't restrict your learning in any way.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and like myself and many of us on HA, the smells of the horse world put a spring in your step. Give it all you got and make us proud.
Lastly, remember that every horse and every client can teach you something .. and that every failure can teach you as much or more than each success. Your training and education will end when you quit listening.
DT
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Member:
Erika
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 9:00 am:
Yes, Ann, you are now in my eyes officially known as "Caregiver".
My husband just read this and said to tell you all that my real name is 'Comedian of the Kitchen".
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Member:
Ajudson1
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 9:43 am:
When I was in High School in the 70's, I lived within 15 miles of a college that offered a Light Horse Management Program. A small town called Waseca in Southern Minnesota, of all places! It was a 2 year program which covered all aspects of horse care, management, and training. Students got to work with horses fresh from some range out west (don't think they were mustangs).
Being from the family situation I was, which in my junior year included being in a foster home, and then living on my own my senior year, I had no support nor any clue that there were things like financial aid, scholarships etc. I thought scholarships were something that the elite very intelligent got, and I was only a mere A/B student lost in the crowd in a large school.
I still get annoyed thinking what road my life could have taken had I had some support in getting to that college, it was the only thing I wanted to do. Instead I was a bank teller, delivery truck driver, young bride and mother, then a factory worker.
I did check a few years ago and there are still 2 places in America that offer that. No longer in MN though, but they are still out there.
By all means, take your classes! Do your hands on, put in your time. Listen, learn, ask questions and never loose site of your dream!
As I was told many years ago by a very gentle, intelligent ol' man, ride as many horses as you can so that you can learn something from every one of them. I would include do your ground work to with as many as possible.
Geesh, but this place gets memories flowing!
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Member:
Hpyhaulr
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 10:30 am:
I just LOVE the stories we are getting here. Seems this is far more cathartic than I ever expected! I am grateful for St. Whoever in Laurinburg if only because it ensures Amanda will be with us longer.
I want to tell you about the first "kid" we had here. I moved down here from LI about 4 years ago. My best friend in NY has Ushers synDrOme, which means he is systematically going deaf & blind. He is also a motivational speaker, and one of the most remarkable people I have ever been privileged to know. For all that, he could not connect with his daughter. I had tagged her as a teen at risk for early pregnancy by the time she was 11, and truly feared for her as she had zero ambition. She referred to herself as SOMA girl (anachronysm for Sit On My Ass)girl. She would veg in front of the tube and live on string cheese & Mountain Dew. We connected early on and she too was a sponge as Amanda is. I brought her down here for what was to be a 2 week vacation 3 years ago. By day 8, Walt & I were tearing our hair out, thinking this was biting off far more than we could chew and mapping out how we could bring her back early. Instead, we took her to a local horse auction. Got no horses, but we did get a couple of puppies. A light turned on in her and she clicked with them instantly. We had already bought some horses but had not brought them home yet. Suddenly SOMA was off the couch and out there digging post holes and creating the pasture with us, assembling panels and building stalls. We hooked up the trailer and took her on the road to Kentucky and Tennessee to pick up our horses. When we got to the first farm, it was pretty late, and I told her in mhy sternest mother/teacher voice to stay in the truck with the puppies and do not let them or yourself out under any circumstance. I could already see that I was wasting my breathe. This was her lightbulb moment. I have told her father that if I could give him sight for just one moment in my life, that would be it. It was her real birthday. She was out of that truck with her jaw DrOpped and I was blessed with the privilege of watching her fall in love. Not with any one horse in particular, but just "the horse". By the time she got home, she was practically living out there. It was like watching some one in a trance. Whatever we taught her, she didn't just grasp it, she had a death grip on it. She even started eating veggies!(an absolute requirement).
When she got back to Long Island,(2 months later) she found that same program Angie was talking about. A 2 year HS program where she gets her academics in the morning from 7:30-noon and then she gets transported to an Equine Center 12:30-3:30 pm where she gets 3 days of riding and 2 days of anatomy/care/feeding. That failing student will graduate this year with her academic diploma as well as her equine training certification. She has grown as a young woman now in charge of her life and motivated to be someone. What a privilege that was, even though she can't get down here anymore. People at her local barn hire her to ride their horses while they go on vacations so she is always working. Out of the house at 5:30 on weekends she is a total barn rat. She tells me the only guys she is interested in have 4 legs and no matter how many ivy leaguers her grandparents trot out in front of her, they just have to understand that her life is in a barn and she may or may not remember to shower after a good workout with a horse, and there is always hay in her hair. In time, I suspect that will balance out, but for now, I'll take it. My Sam is in charge of her life and horses gave her that gift. SHe is no longer at risk for anything worse than horse fever. There are worse dangers out there for our kids. This country needs more than 2 programs for these kids. Amanda would have given her left leg to have such a program here!
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Member:
Ajudson1
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 1:17 pm:
Cyndy,
I owe you an apology. I was getting annoyed with this "village" thing, thinking, "hey, we're a ranch maybe or stable, or anything but a village". Don't know why, but it was just rubbing me the wrong way, and I just about posted some negative comments. I've almost stopped reading any posts that started that way. Not like me at all.
Now, reading your story above, I am just going "WOW". What a difference you made in someone's life. How wonderful!!!!
Can I start over and go back to that HS?
So, please accept my apology for what I almost said! And I'll try to figure out why it bothers me...so silly on my part.
Must be the mud/rain/cloudy days getting to me. I had a nice muddy ride yesterday so hopefully the negativity left me for the rest of the year, lol!!!
Great story!!!
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Member:
Mrose
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 2:50 pm:
Angie, at the risk of getting "clobbered" by someone with a different viewpoint....you're thinking of Sen. Clinton's book on it taking a village and equating that with the above posts!
I too would love to have had a HS that had a riding program! I considered myself very lucky as a freshman in college because the science teacher had an Arab stallion and knew how to do trick riding. He gave me and a few others lessons in trick riding and we were able to get PE credits!
Cyndy - you are to be commended on many levels. My husband and I have had two different "troubled" kids living with us, both of them nephews (from different homes.) One we got when he was 16, the other when he was 10. Talk about challanges!! No one who hasn't tried to help these kids can appreciate how difficult it is. I wish ours had been interested in the horses...or anything construtive! Many kudos to you and your family!
What part of LI were you in? We have a business in the Riverhead area and a son who lives there.
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 3:08 pm:
Sara .. You had to do it didn't you. I was doing my very best to disregard the Hillary connection. Now I have a whole new interest in the "gelding" post.
DT
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Member:
Hpyhaulr
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 3:41 pm:
Listen guys, I can't help that Hillary found out about the village thing, I sure didn't tell her.
Noone owes me any apologies or anything else but full participation. I read the other posts about medical and training stuff and I have NO idea what you are talking about. I figure maybe in another year or two if I keep reading I will learn enough to ask a reasonably intelligent question, and eventually have some input. I know just enough to know I know I know nothin'. Everyone signed up here who posts is a teacher! Look at all the feedback we have gotten even while you are all so concerned for DJ, and Sara & Libby, NWalken, Gordon and others with real & pressing problems!
We were in a little one horse town called Kings Park. I know now that that horse was on steroids... NOW I REALLY have found one horse towns! Sam's HS is Smithtown, and the program is open to all hs students in Western Suffolk county through BOCES (Riverhead is in Eastern Suffolk).Only about 10 kids per year get into it. I have no idea how many apply or even know it exists. The program is based out of Thomas School of Horsemanship in Melville.
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Saturday, Jan 6, 2007 - 10:20 pm:
with all this talk of following dreams and encouraging Amanda and other horse lovers to develop their interests and talents, I got to thinking about how we HA members could make a difference in the lives of some of these folks to assist them along the way.
Dennis,
Are you set up to do mentoring? I mean, if we had an HA Scholarship Fund, would you be able to take budding trainers for a week or two or three or four?
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Member:
Mrose
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Posted on Sunday, Jan 7, 2007 - 12:20 am:
Holly, I see where you're headed. What a great idea!!
I know just where the HS is; had NO idea such a program even existed! So amazing to me!
Also, Cyndy, please go ahead and ask some of the what you consider to be "stupid" questions. Just because I, for instance, know something about one thing certainly doesn't mean I know something about another subject! We are all still learning.
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 9:21 am:
Holly .. what a great idea. I would have to do some organizing, but I bet it could happen. I constantly have young people out who want to learn. My only problem is that I still have a "day job" unfortunately. Although, I am able to find many daily tasks that can be done while I am away, and serious horse training on evenings and weekends. My wife, and generally my brother are usually there during the day to assist as well.
Maybe if we discuss this further, we could come up with a workable plan. The only thing more rewarding than learning, is being able to help someone else learn as well. It would appear that we would have a lot of resources here on HA for sure.
DT
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 9:47 am:
You can take the adult out of 4-H, but you can't take the 4-H out of the adult . . .
"Learning by Doing" and "Making the Best Better" still ring through my brain.
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Member:
Dres
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 10:24 am:
Personally, I think if a student wants to learn , they will find what ever means they can to take the plunge!~ Student loans come to mind.. DT or other trainers that are interested and are set up for it.. might be able to 'share' there knowledge.. Putting up a trailer on the property for a living quarters, maybe having a student come for a week and then return later at another point..This student would be working for the trainer for his weeks up keep.. I think its the young persons responsibility to make some sacrifices to get to where they want to go.. Just hanging out with a trainer is learning ..
Dennis Reis at his ranch, of course this is a little different, but he has 3 day 7 day and month long programs that we pay to go to, to learn.. He has a female trailer and a male trailer for those of us that come from out of town.. Of course none of these students are expected to clean stalls, this is a total learning experience.. and the student pays .. When I was there, years ago, there was two cowboys from Montana, trainers by trade, learning from Dennis..
I am all for helping our up and comers, but feel its a long road one that involves sacrifices from the truly dedicated..
On the first day God created horses, the second day he painted them with spots..
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 11:10 am:
Ann, I agree . . . and know that many, if not all, of us have made, and are making, sacrifices to acquire the opportunities to learn with horses.
To my knowledge, student loans would not have allowed me the finances to mentor with someone or attend a symposium or clinic.
In my passion for learning and teaching, and following on the heels of our discussions about encouraging folks to follow their dreams, I am trying to think of an active way that some of us could help others of us do that, and I was thinking I'd be willing to "put my money where my mouth is" . . . maybe it would only be a token amount, but it might be enough to set someone's feet on the way toward the learning they desire.
If an HA fund isn't the best way to do that, then maybe there's another way. I would like to be a part of helping someone toward their dreams . . . in whatever way I can. I am so thankful to the people who encouraged and helped me in my life, so the scholarship fund was a thought that came to mind.
Mentoring is another way.
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Member:
Dtranch
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 12:24 pm:
Good points Ann and Holly. I wasn't thinking so much of monetary help, but more in the line of mentoring. I would certainly think that cleaning some stalls and tack would be small price to pay for a good week or so of hands on training experience. As I had stated earlier, that is part of the program.
If Amanda, or another potential student was willing to travel to Indiana, or Kansas, or wherever for a week or so at a time, the learning experience would be priceless. As Ann said, working for the trainer in exchange for room and board and lessons would be pretty cost effective I would think. The Dennis Reis experience would be in excess of $250.00 per day plus expenses.
Holly, I wouldn't mind spending a few days at your facility for some advanced training myself. The learning never stops, does it.
DT
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Member:
Ajudson1
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 12:55 pm:
Holly,
looks like you are going to be having a lot of company this summer! Besides our family of 3, possibly 4, now Dennis perhaps too?
It is a neat idea being thrown around here. It would be neat if we all get to meet at the same time, and learn from each other. I find I learned from watching my daughters lessons, so it's always tenfold.
I for one will be glad to help with the grunt work so those with more experience can do the mentoring.
Dennis, my 12 yr old plans on learning during our visit to Holly; (me and Dad too) it would be neat if you were one of our stops too.
Great ideas, and points of view as always. Like Ann says, some sacrifices on the students part is a good idea.
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Member:
Erika
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 3:44 pm:
Okay, Brushy Creeks' out, we're all meeting at Holly's. I'll bring cake.
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 3:55 pm:
LOL . . .
If you folks end up in KS, I'm afraid you'll be somewhat disappointed . . . No gorgeous Vermont trails or breathtaking Rocky Mountains or CA Tevis Cup rides here . . .
I have to say that the sunsets and sunrises are spectacular, though.
At the rate we're going here, I fear that the most I can offer is a set of post-hole diggers for each visitor . . . and some shaggy, four-legged characters who all need some exercise . . . and Erika's cake . . .
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Member:
Ajudson1
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 8:53 pm:
Holly,
Brian said to remind you he has dibs on the big buck!!!
KS, in Holly's area, is nice peaceful farm country. The people are spectacular anyhow, and we can probably all come up with enough stories to entertain ourselves.
I'll bring some Mackinac Island Fudge Ice Cream to go with the cake. On dry ice of course.
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Member:
Annaspop
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 9:24 pm:
Holly,
Miz Annabelle said she will be most delighted to find some pheasant if someone will shoot them for her to fetch. Ducks, quail, chucker whatever else you all have out there.
Margy
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Member:
Hwood
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Posted on Monday, Jan 8, 2007 - 9:59 pm:
Margy . . .
Saw some White Tail, a couple of squirrels and a huge owl today. We have all of the birds you mention, as well as grouse and hoards of Canada Geese right now.
I think you'd better have Miz Annabelle speak to Angie's Brian though as the last time I shot anything was with a rubber band.
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Member:
Pbauer
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Posted on Tuesday, Jan 16, 2007 - 5:06 pm:
Dear Holly,
Thank you for letting all of us know about the book: Dream Giver! The excerpt alone is wonderful:
Bruce Wilkinson, the author of the Prayer of Jabez, believes that each of us has a deep desire to know and fulfill our life dream. However, we usually fail to live out this dream because we are either afraid of failure or simply do not believe that God can bring our dream to life. In The Dream Giver Wilkinson explains that our truest and deepest dream is not merely a personal flight of fancy but is the dream that God has given us in order that we might both fulfill our destiny and bring Him the greatest glory. Therefore, as you search for that perfect gift remember that one of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones is an opportunity to understand and live out their life dream.
Paul and I already have a couple of his books:
A Life God Rewards: Why Everything You Do Today Matters Forever and The Prayer of Jabez.
Again, thank you!
My Best,
Tonya
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