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  Discussion on Getting out of horses?
Author Message
Member:
heidim

Posted on Monday, Nov 18, 2013 - 8:23 pm:

Hi all. I haven't posted in a while and now want to post something that may be awkward but that I need to seek advice on. I've owned horses since I was 16. I'm now 51. Over the last three years, I've noticed that riding has become more of a chore than a pleasure. I'm primarily a trail rider and took more advanced riding lessons this fall, hoping to breathe some new life into my hobby. Alas, I don't feel any more interested. Showing horses holds no appeal at all. I'm considering selling my last horse and companion pony next spring, but it's a gigantic step, seeing as horses have been such a big part of my life for so long. Has anyone come to this point in their life or does anyone know someone who has and has any feedback? It's such a difficult decision.
Member:
gramsey1

Posted on Monday, Nov 18, 2013 - 9:34 pm:

Is there a social aspect to your riding? Are you sharing your knowledge and experience?
Member:
juliem

Posted on Monday, Nov 18, 2013 - 10:28 pm:

I don't ride as much as I used to, but I would never want to be without my "herd". They add so much to my life besides the riding. Are you in a position to keep them even if you no longer ride? It's ok you know, not to want to ride. Don't feel guilty about it or worry about the horses. Given their choice, they'd rather mosey around the pasture, nap in the sun and run and buck on cold mornings just for fun.
Member:
mrose

Posted on Monday, Nov 18, 2013 - 11:58 pm:

Hi Heidi. I don't post as much as I used to, but I do read most of the posts. Your post hit a cord. I will be 71 in another couple of months and have had horses my entire life. I used to have friends that I rode with, but they have all quit riding, or the younger ones are too busy to ride much. So, that leaves me with no one local to ride with. I had gotten soured on showing as I did it for many years in several disciplines, all the way to the national level. Then I got interested in something I hadn't tried before, competitive trail classes. Working on learning the obstacles and patterns, getting in correct frame and lead, really challenged me and I really began to enjoy riding again. It's easy to set up a simple course and to work alone with your horse even if you don't show. Another thing that might be of interest is the competitive trail courses that go for several miles. You and your horse are judged on how you handle the trail and the obstacles you encounter. I'm just saying I guess, that maybe if you found something new, a new challenge, you might rekindle your love of riding and horses. Perhaps the advanced riding lessons weren't in the right discipline, or you didn't have the right instructor. I take individual lessons when I can, usually a couple of times a month, and then take a group lesson that is like a mini show. The barn I go to has a wonderful instructor and staff and great clients. I have made very good friends there. When at home, I don't go as far or nearly as hard as I used to, but I try and concentrate more on being "right" and working on things instead of just walking down the trial like I used to do. Maybe this isn't the answer for you, but I really went through a funk; lost several old mares close together, and had no one to ride with combined to make be feel like giving up. But, I know I would really miss my horses. They are a lot of work though. Can you find a young teenager that you could teach to ride one of your horses the way you'd like it to be ridden? You might enjoy sharing your knowledge with her/him - not just riding but horse keeping as well, and have someone to either ride with, or to help with the work in exchange for riding. I've don't this in the past and it worked out well once I found the right person. Someone dependable with "wheels" is even better because it would allow you more freedom to be away from home now and then. Each of us is different though. Just give this a lot of thought; as it seems you are doing.
New Member:
chrisl

Posted on Tuesday, Nov 19, 2013 - 11:05 am:

Hi Heidi,
This is a wrenching decision, isn't it? I'm 62 and have loved horses, and been a horse owner most of my life. My favorite horse ever had a horrible colic and had to be put down a few years ago, and I had just about decided to give it up when I saw and bought my current horse. He's a lovely boy, but he turned out to have some serious physical problems and his companion mini is laminitic, so it's difficult to manage all their needs - and I can't even ride him now. There are days that I can't figure out why I'm doing all this, and other days when just hanging out with them in our cozy barn, or watching them in the field gives me a sense of euphoria that I don't think anything could replace. So I'm on the same cusp of a decision - give it up forever, or start over with another horse. You can make the list of pros and cons of owning horses, but for any REASONABLE (ha!) person, the cons list is so much longer! It's an emotional decision, not necessarily a rational one.
I haven't quite decided for myself, but I was surprised when I ran into a friend recently who is a little younger than I am, and had been a horse lover all of her life, was a successful competitor, etc, who sold her much loved horse a few years ago. She said she didn't feel sad or a sense of longing about it - she felt free, and was able to do other things she'd never been able to afford or have time for because of the horses. I'm not sure that's the right direction for me, or for anyone, but it was reassuring to me to know that it can be a positive thing. I think the comments and suggestions that others have made are good ones, but it sounds like you've already tried some of them. Maybe there is a time to move on... You're processing the decision now, let it ruminate, don't rush it - I think the right answer will generally present itself. Good luck.
Member:
heidim

Posted on Tuesday, Nov 19, 2013 - 5:40 pm:

Thank you for all your comments. They've collectively given me wisdom and perspective. I was thinking back to when I first started riding in my area, and things have really changed. More than half of the land with trails has been developed. Some new horse owners moved into the area, and ride the remaining trails with their dogs, which makes me very uneasy. One of the homeowners along the trails now owns two Golden Retrievers that run up and spook the horses. It's their land, so we have no say in what they do with their dogs. I've also lost my favorite riding buddy...my daughter...she's in college now. There's really no else close by to ride with, so I either have to ride alone in our pasture or trailer my horse or purchase a second horse to accommodate a friend. The state parks and recreation areas graveled all their trails two years ago, which means I either need to shoe my horse (not an option given the clay and natural springs in our pasture) or mess with expensive hoof boots. I've also been through a string of horses that people misrepresented...including two with navicular and one that bucked me off, which really shook my confidence. That's one of the reasons I took the lesson. My newer horse is older but still plenty spunky and needs regular riding to keep from acting up. The thought of selling and buying yet another wearies me. I've found that hiking and snowshoeing with my dog or riding bikes with my husband is so much simpler. On the plus side, trail riding did introduce me to camping, something I also enjoy. I know I'm not ready yet to make a final decision, but sharing with others who understand has helped. Thanks for all your kind thoughts and ideas.
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